30 x 30 cm
Acrylics on canvas

30 x 30 cm
Acrylics on canvas, collage

30 x 30 cm
Acrylics on canvas

50 x 70 cm
Acrylics on canvas

I started this Artifact at the end of 2020, in Berlin, continued in St. Petersburg. Covid crisis just began. After New Year 2021 party I came back to Berlin and paused the work on this Artifact. Something was holding me back. And its name was still hidden from me. At the beginning of 2023, after so many events, this Artifact called me, and its name appeared — Forgiveness.⠀
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For so many years, I was holding pain within myself, the pain of resentment. I imagined some kind of different reality where everything should have been "better." I could receive "better" education, "better" work, "better" opportunities in my life, "better" society and culture around, just "better life" whatever it can mean. Especially, I was blaming Russia, Russian culture, and my parents. ⠀
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My eyes opened, I realized, the problem all that time was in me, not everything around me. I was living in the world of expectations, being constantly in the state of disappointment.⠀
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To forgive means to see and accept, let the pain go. No one owes me anything, as well as I don't owe anything to anyone. I choose my responsibilities. I choose to love and accept my parents. I was so alienated (see how the name influences the story😉) from my family because of not accepting them as they are. Now, I understand that they did the best what they could when raising me, being who and where they are. Now, I direct my Energy towards healing our relationships 🙌
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And I choose to forgive, accept, love the place and culture I am coming from. Russia and Russian people, as well as other countries, societies, families, are going through so many difficulties. But we're here and now, we choose how to deal with it. I am a part of my family, my family is a part of a bigger family, this bigger family is a part of an even bigger family, and, in its origin, we are all one big family — Humanity. I choose to heal my family, to work on our relationships, to forgive.

The Life of Dreams became the first artwork when I realized — I am an artist. Even though in my deepest inside, I knew it from the beginning, it took me a while to finally realize it. So many times before in my life I listened to somebody’s opinions, following their paths. None of these brought me fulfillment, the feeling of using my potential.⠀
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I came through so many disappointments (in school, my first uni in St. Petersburg, jobs which I had, relationships, aesthetics, and especially Russia and Russian culture). I was blaming the whole world for what it did to me. I thought the world owes me something.⠀
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I was lost in doubts and uncertainty, almost disappeared: first half of my studying design in UE Germany, when I could barely speak due to the huge language gap, I had hysterics, I thought I would never find friends 😅⠀
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Practicing being in the moment with myself gave me the understanding of what is ego. I realized that all my complexes were coming from ego, and I am something bigger than just my ego. It took me a while to start not giving a fuck to my ego's doubts of what others may think about me.⠀
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At some point, I realized that I was so lost in my doubts that I stopped dreaming. Or I was dreaming, but then not doing anything to achieve these dreams. For example, I had some ideas of artworks, but didn't do them because of something. Most often, I just didn't dedicate time and attention to my inner wishes.⠀
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The Life of Dreams became one of the first artworks when I tried another medium because I remembered how as a child I enjoyed sculpting.⠀
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Dream! This is the Energy I charged The Life of Dreams Artifact with 🌌🙌⠀
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This is my Life, I decide how it will be. I choose to be happy, successful, full of joy, and love. This is my Life of Dreams ❤️‍🔥

This Artifact came to me just right before the New Year 2023. Although I hadn't planned on starting a new painting, the creative spark was too strong to resist, so I followed my intuition and began painting directly on the canvas, only choosing the color scheme beforehand 🎨

With each new brushstroke, a composition of forms emerged, sculpting and deepening the artwork. At some point also came the name — Transformation. But I didn't fully understand its meaning until the New Year celebration. Everything became clear after it. This Artifact gathered Energy to boost my spiritual transformation, allowing me to jump further and faster. And now, the others can also exchange this type of Energy through the Transformation Artifact 🌌

You can connect with this Energy via meditation — concentration on the Artifact while observing it with the clear mind. You can also add intentions to your meditation, focusing your Energy, inner feelings, and attention on transformation, asking for it, and wishing for it.